Once upon a time, there lived and old fuck. He was a bastard, this old fuck. He lived on a giant hill that overlooked the entire neighborhood. He had a swimming pool that he never used. It made the neighbors jealous, that old fuck. He complained about the the jolly noise of the ice cream truck, which stopped coming. The little kids went without ice cream, that old fuck. He called animal control on the neighborhood cats, which were promptly put to sleep, that old fuck.
One day, when the old fuck finally kicked the bucket, the people of the neighborhood were thrilled. Many years later, the neighborhood was bought and replaced with a giant mall. On the opening day, the mall was filled with crowds of happy shoppers. Later in the day, the mall exploded. It just fucking exploded.
Later on, it was discovered that a makeshift tunnel filled with water was found underground starting under where the old fuck used to live, running to a lake nearby. the lake bottom was littered with corpses, one of which drifted through the tunnels under the mall and blocked the water going into one of the pipes. The walls started to crumble and ruptured a gas line. It exploded and killed everyone in the mall, that old fuck.
