In a perfect world...

Cigarettes make your breath taste like awesome and and give off a scent that attracts the opposite sex. Or the same sex, because the tobacco companies developed a formula that detects your sexual preference. Except pedophilia, because there are no pedophiles. No necrophiliacs either because no one dies. They just move to Mars to prevent overpopulation. Mars was colonized. Martians live there. They poop gold. Not that gold has any value because everyone has everything they need, it just looks nice.